Six Mixed Critiques and Two Weeks Away

Just in case y’all are wondering, I wasn’t eaten by sharks.  Or attacked by hippos.  Or chased by an armed gunman.

The reason for my long absence (of TWO WEEKS!) is one word: school.

Summer is almost here.

But I haven’t been entirely futile these weeks away.  I kept writing in Camp Nano (reaching a grand total of 15,000 words) and I’ve posted chapter 1 & 2 of my re-write on CC.

Chapter 1 has gotten six reviews.  There has been much crying and celebrating.  (Well, no actual tears.)

Here’s some of the feedback I got:

I like the atmosphere you create with your opening paragraph.

Thank you!  That’s what I was going for.

There are a lot of adverbs in just these few paragraphs. Eliminate the adverbs.

Thanks, I’ll keep an eye out for un-needed adverbs that creep into my writing.  LATER – okay, that adverb was needed… huh, so was that one.  And this one.  Umm… most of my adverbs are fine.  Thanks though?

Beware overusing exclamation marks. It can blunt them.

True!  Right you are!  Thanks for pointing that out!!!!!!

Star immediately felt bad for her accusation.

Oh, it’s the adverb police again.  Run quickly away.  Quietly!  Less loudly!

Thankyou Thank you.

Okay, typo.  But… is that all you have to say?  (That was literally all he had to say.  Almost.) So THANKYOU for your time, but didn’t you notice anything else about my story?

You write well. I’m very impressed. Especially considering your age.

Thank you!  That means a lot!

I don’t know if you need without a trace.

Eh, you’re right.  I can take that out.  I’ll make it vanish without a trace.

Great. Conflict.

*pats self on back*

Closing Comments:

Wow, Beth. You are good.

Thank (space) you!  That means more than you know.

I like Irsong and Emmella’s development as well. Irsong is brusk. Emmella gentle.


Yes, I do want to read what’s going to happen next. I wouldn’t want to say the story is well polished.

Well, I’m working on it, okay?!  I mean, uh, yeah, I agree.  It needs a little work.

I do want to read the next chapter and I hope this doesn’t fall into another cliche Tolkien plot.

Um, no worries.  I love LOTR, but it’s nothing like that.  Kay?

And last but not least,

Stop posting here and submit to a publisher.

Does this leave you wanting to read the next chapter?

Hell, yes!

That one right there made my day.  Possibly my week.  Possibly my life.

Well, that’s all for now.  See you in less than two weeks, hopefully!  Unless I get chased by dinosaurs… attacked by whales… (or hunted by the adverb police).


Close to two years ago, I had a dream.  A legit, eyes-closed snoring-loudly dream.  One of those dreams where you meet people you instantly love, where you do incredible things, where you don’t want it to end.  So when I woke up, I continued it in my head.  Then I started writing it down.  Then I started getting serious, creating new characters, developing a(n attempt at a) plot, and wondering if I would ever want to be a writer.

And then I joined Critique Circle, and things changed a little.  Okay, a lot.

I learned to give and take critiques.  I learned about showing and telling, deep POV, potting vs pantsing, pacing, query letters, beta readers, filler words, passive voice, perseverance, coffee, and just how much I love to write.

January 1, 2015, I finished writing my 75,00 word YA novel.  Now it’s being mercilessly edited by Yours Truly, and then it will be ruthlessly thrown out to CC, and perhaps torn apart by my library’s teen writer’s club as well.

So that’s the story of me and my WIP.  Let’s end with a little synopsis, shall we?  (Don’t be too brutal, it’s a WIP too!)

Sixteen-year-old Star has always dreamed of going to the city of Spiritus.  It’s where her mother grew up, where her parents met, and where people are trained to become Defenders.  She has little hope for this dream, as Spiritus is halfway across the continent… until Strider and Emmella, two mysterious strangers, show up.  They take her with them to Spiritus, where she finally has a chance of earning the title of Defender — except that an evil lord has plans of his own for the city of Spiritus.  Star has to risk everything she holds dear to save the city — and the people — she values most.